I resist change. I take a lot of time to adjust to something new and if I have to encounter something totally new again just when getting used to the new stimulus, I panic. Why are we so afraid and resistant to change? I’m trying to understand the reasons.

  1. We resist change because we assume that the change will be unfavorable for us. We assume that the future will be worse than/ never match the present.
  2. We assume that we will be the same person in the future. But the reality is that we also change everyday.
  3. We assume that if the change is indeed unfavorable (though we cannot say that for sure), we won’t have the power, strength and intelligence to handle it. How can we say that for sure?
  4. We resist change because we look at the event separately and not as a whole. There is no pleasure without pain. Pain is the reason we appreciate pleasure.
  5. We resist change because we fear the unknown. Actually no, it is not the fear of unknown because if something is truly unknown, we can’t say anything about it. We actually resist change because we fear the known i.e. we don’t want to experience uncomfortable and disturbing situations again. So, we try to predict future through our past.
  6. We resist change because we think we know more than what we actually know. We act like know-it-all people who think that they can never be wrong in their opinions. A wise person will always know that he/she has a lot to learn and hence, he/she would look at change as an opportunity to learn and he/she would be also curious.  It is a little arrogant to think that we know exactly why and how a change happened. There could be hundreds of reasons. Just because B occurred after A, doesn’t mean A is always the cause of B.
  7. Moreover, the beauty of life lies in its mystery. If we knew everything about everything, life would be so boring and there won’t be any meaning! So why do we kill the excitement through our predictions? Is it because we love security at expense of life?
  8. We don’t see the interconnectedness in universe. Just because change has compelled you to travel in a route you don’t want to go, doesn’t mean that the route won’t lead you to the purpose of your life. See this for example.
  9. We resist change because we assume that we have complete control over what happens to us. That’s not really the case because a lot of things that happen to us depends upon our inner environment (our minds) and outer environment (society). We can control both of these to some extent but to actually wish that we can control life to an extent that everything happens as per our wish? And what will happen if we get only pleasures with no pain at all?
  10. We resist change because we might have to face those fears that we are running away from. But fear makes you sharp, innovative and like Dr. Devdutt Pattanaik says, a person who doesn’t know fear is incapable of loving anybody.
  11. We resist change because we think that love, beauty, compassion etc exist only in exclusive places. Change urges us to look for these qualities in new places. It is normal to cry if your best friend is shifting to another country. But the great qualities that your friend has can be found in others too. It is hard work because it is easy to see unpleasant things in others.
  12. We resist change because we focus more on receiving and less on giving. It’s normal to expect things from others but how many of us actually think about what can we give to others? When we focus more on receiving, we try to change the world and demand more from it. When we focus on giving, we try to get better and we think about what we can learn more from the change and the new people or new situations that change brings to us.

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