A man enters a restaurant. He asks for the menu. The waiter gets him the menu but his body language is kind of negative. The man decides what he wants and calls the waiter. The waiter is still giving negative vibes. The man asks him something about a particular dish. The waiter gets irritated and says, “Why are you asking stupid questions? It’s common sense, man!” The man immediately starts searching for something in his pocket. He also manages to read the name of the waiter on his uniform. The man finally gets what he wants from his pocket. It is a cheque book. He writes a cheque of 1000 dollars and gives it to the waiter. The waiter is nonplussed. The man then says to the waiter, “Hey, listen. Here the keys to my house. From now on, you can use it. I will live there but I will only use a corner. You have the power to do whatever you want to with the house. If you wish, you can throw me out of the house too. Also, there is a treasure inside my house. You can take that too.” Everybody is shocked.
What will you think of this man? You might be little suspicious. You might think that the man is playing a mind game with the waiter. If I say, “No, this man really meant what he was saying” then what would be your reaction? Maybe, you will call him stupid. But wait…
The normal reaction would be to get angry, right? Some people might even abuse the waiter. But what we are forgetting here is that the thought, “How dare he talks to me like that?” is in OUR mind which then affects our body (blood pressure, breathing etc) and if this thought persists, it might spoil our health. If we keep collecting such thoughts, our hard earned money will be spent on hospital bills.
Whenever somebody insults us, we let that person remain in our head for years altogether. We might never meet him again in our life and yet, we keep replaying what he said. We hand over the keys to our homes (our heads) to him. So, this person, lives in our private space for ages and spoil our happiest moments by criticizing us again and again. There are treasures of talent, love, compassion etc within us. But we are unable to have access to them because we give away our power to the person who insulted us. Moreover, we end up proving the other person right. If we keep nurturing grudges towards people, we won’t really have time to do anything nice with our lives. Aren’t we stupid in a way? Only a stupid person will waste his money, energy, time and talent to prove that he is not stupid to a complete stranger.
No, we don’t have to tolerate insults. We can let the waiter know that he is being rude. But is uncontrollable rage a great idea? I am pretty short-tempered and believing in shouting back if someone is shouting at me/being rude to me. I’m questioning this conditioned response. I read something really beautiful on this topic yesterday. It’s a little lengthy but worth a read.
“I am my own worst enemy is a phrase that has been uttered by a countless number of people over the years, but I wonder how many others realize that this statement is applicable to each and every one of us.The painful emotions, the negative thoughts and the harmful feelings that we must posses in order to consider someone an enemy are seeds that we must voluntarily plant in our own hearts and minds. We must be receptive to feeling emotions such as anger, resentment and disdain for others, we allow our egos to judge others while casting the shadow of mistrust and suspicion over them. We openly and freely relinquish control over our Peace of mind and happiness to the very person who may have wronged or harmed you in some way and all the while you slip deeper and deeper into the shadows of anger, hatred and intolerance towards this so called enemy.
Since no other person or outside source can have a negative or persuasive impact on our lives without our permission, then it goes without saying that we are not only our own worst enemy, but our ONLY true enemy. We allow these detrimental thoughts and emotions to pollute our perception of life and the people around us. They sometimes cause us to feel victimized as if the whole world is against us. They also keep us hidden in the shadows of ignorance, unable to see that our state of mind is the main influence on how any outside source affects us. But when we finally awaken to these facts, we can stop allowing our minds to create these so called enemies and start becoming our own biggest ally. Negativity wears us down and causes us to be bitter and resentful, so make the decision that you no longer want it to be a part of your life and let it go. Blessings and love to you all. heart emoticon” — GURU BUBBA McLOVIN (aka Christopher Wons )