A is upset  because he is overtly dependent on B for his happiness. But what A forgets is that B is also dependent on him and others for her happiness. So, A wants to change B for his happiness, he has to change all the people who are connected to B because that she can give him happiness only when others give her happiness. B’s boss doesn’t respect her and this makes her unhappy. But B’s boss is frustrated because his kid doesn’t respect him. His happiness lies in his kid respecting him. But the kid is unhappy because her teacher is like a Hitler. The teacher behaves this way because her happiness lies in her marriage and her husband is having an extra-marital affair. Her husband is unhappy because he married the teacher because of parental pressure. His parents got their son married because they were dependent on their son’s marriage for their happiness. They were taught this by their parents. And their parents? They saw that whenever they obeyed their parents and society, life was secure and comfortable and they taught this was the way to happiness. Their parents wanted social status and financial security because of the way they were brought up. A wanted happiness from B but B is connected to her family, friends, acquaintances, the city, the country, the world and ultimately, to the universe. A complete stranger in another country can blow up the train B is traveling in and this can make A unhappy. The stranger might have planned this because of his scriptures which were written ages back! Maybe he wants to do this for a better world. Something that is so old and someone’s plans for a better future is affecting your happiness NOW.

This is both good and bad news. Bad news because if we want others to make us happy, we may not succeed. Forcing them to change is really not a great idea because one has to look at the problem that is coming from all sources. Forcing yourself to change in a way that is violent is also going to be superficial.

Good news is that if we do manage to change ourselves or change the life of one person (provided the change is a compassionate one not something that is against your/his/her will), we might be able to change the world.

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