Like everybody else, I wanted to fit in. I dreamed of a forming a special group where people valued the same things as me, who had similar visions for their lives etc. They would be special because I could be myself around them without any worries. They would understand me. That’s what everybody dreams of, I guess. After all, happiness lies in finding like-minded folks, right?
This dream is still there but somewhere, I am not really ‘attached’ to this dream. In the sense that it would be great if this happens but I might not care much if this doesn’t happen. I’m wondering why I feel this way!
We always belong to some group or the other and more often than not, we exclude the opposite world view. For example: there are groups of environmentalists and there are groups that destroy environment. By no means do I support people who destroy environment but I’m not really attached to my opinion that the environment has to be preserved. I still am obsessed with switching off lights and fans (even if I am not the one who switched them on in the first place) but I don’t feel that self-righteous anger when others waste electricity. I would request them, tell them twice and thrice, but by no means I judge them as ‘selfish’ or people who need to be ‘taught’ what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong.’ No, I don’t know what is right. I just know my version of right and I try my best to convey that to people. I do not agree with these people but I accept that they have their reasons and most of the times, people are just ignorant about their actions. They are just so messed up in their lives that they don’t really have the energy to think about the planet. I would support the environmentalists but maybe, I would be a bad member of the group because I honestly want to understand the people who destroy environment not hate them. Group members won’t like that, I guess.
In the same way, we form groups out of mutual likes and dislikes. I of course have my preferences, but I don’t feel the need to prove that my preferences are ‘objectively’ the best out there. For example: I like Indie cinema and that would usually mean that I find nothing ‘enlightening’ in commercial cinema. But I refuse to see things this way. Every film, no matter how bad it is, has something good in it. It is the same with human beings. I don’t think I can join in the collective outrage towards few individuals. I of course do not support injustice and would speak up against it but I won’t eliminate the possibility that I might be like those villains deep down.
Who says that happiness can be only found among like-minded folks? Maybe, I don’t believe in predicting people’s behavior anymore. How can I be sure that a person who has no interest in the secrets of the universe has nothing to teach me about it? How can we be sure that someone who didn’t understand us till date will never understand us in the future as well?
I honestly feel less inclined to form groups and maybe, I belong everywhere: even in the nastiest places like jails.