We talk a lot about “unconditional love” but most of us use it quite casually and without a lot of thinking. Maybe, we all have our own definitions of what unconditional love is and is not. This is my subjective opinion about people’s opinion about unconditional love.
# 1. Mother’s love is unconditional
IMHO, mother’s love is NOT unconditional. Here’s a question to those who feel it is unconditional: Why does a mother love only her child unconditionally and not her neighbor’s child? Ironically, the condition is conspicuous here: The child has to be HER child. Right? Having said that, mother’s love could be a great way to learn unconditional love.You can slowly expand your love from your child to the entire universe.
#2. Unconditional love means tolerating harmful behavior
Unconditional love doesn’t exclude YOU! When somebody does something that is harmful to someone/you, you don’t support that person. You do what needs to be done (report to police, block that person etc) but you don’t hate that person. You separate the person from his/her deeds and try to understand his/her behavior. Understanding doesn’t mean you support harmful actions.
# 3. Unconditional love is for one person/ group of people
Why do you love one person unconditionally and don’t love another person? It means that you have a reason for loving that one person and not loving another person. That reason IS a condition! If you exclude someone from your love, you are doing that because of some preference. Unconditional love includes EVERYBODY: human beings, nature, universe,you etc. BUT, we are imperfect human beings and it is okay to have preferences and be a little biased. It’s okay to choose few people out of many but believing that they are the only people who matter and harming those who are not your loved ones in the process is what we should keep a check on.
# 4. We must love unconditionally
Unconditional love is not a duty. It is a choice. If you force yourself to love someone unconditionally, then it cannot be unconditional because
a. You are doing it because of an ideal (I must love unconditionally) which is a condition.
b. You are not accepting yourself unconditionally for being conditional in your love and this defeats the whole idea of unconditional love!
# 5. Everybody wants unconditional love
Yes, everybody wants unconditional love but that is only half truth. That’s because we all want to feel special and superior at the same time. One could argue that if we get unconditional love, there won’t be any desire to feel superior and this is true in many ways but the reality is that we don’t really like the idea of someone treating everybody equally. Don’t we all want to be that ‘special’ student or the ‘favorite employee’ of the boss? Being special and favorite is based on conditions. So, even though we all want unconditional love, our mind always swings from wanting one thing to wanting the exact opposite thing when that thing is achieved. When we get unconditional love, we want to be ‘favorites’ and when we are ‘favorites’ we get insecure and ask, “Does that person love me only because I have this or that?” We might want to give a gift of unconditional love to the universe but most people don’t understand and appreciate it. However, that shouldn’t stop us from loving people.
At the end of the day, unconditional love remains a noble ideal that we all strive for. In reality, we all want unconditional love from others but very few us want to give it!
P.S. Apologies for the bad formatting. There is some issue with WordPress!