As a society, we need to discuss and agree on a common ‘right’ or ‘wrong.’ This common ground is the pillar of every relationship. For example: we agree on the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ when it comes to language, not because there is anything right or wrong in the words or grammar but it is simply to connect with other people. I can call the color red as ‘blue’ because there is no rule that the color red has to be called red because it is human beings who invented language. For the sake of convenience and avoiding confusion, I agree to call the color red as red because other people call the color red as ‘red.’ But when we move on to emotional things, it all becomes a little too complicated. Emotions and human behavior are subjective and reaching a common ground is extremely difficult. For example: A ‘normal’ person is neither too thin nor too fat. If somebody deviates from the norm, we want to change that person. Our intentions might be pure but we forget everybody is behaving as per his/her definition of right or wrong. We can talk about “How things should be” or what is the absolute right or wrong but people don’t behave as per our definitions. Our versions of ‘right’ might be objective but people can and do behave as per their own subjective definitions. We might get worried about your loved one’s weight issues but in that person’s subjective world, there might be other problems that need to be addressed. Some people complain about others not putting in enough ‘effort’ to change their lives but how can you say that? Maybe, everybody is giving their best, it’s just that the ‘best’ is different for a person who is ‘normal’ and different for a person who is suffering from depression. We are convinced that:
1. we KNOW what is good or bad for others,
2 our version of right is correct one,
3. we know people’s intentions
People are not obligated to behave as per our templates. Whether we like it or not, we don’t really know why that person takes selfies. Admitting that we don’t really know the other person is difficult. SO, we take shortcuts. We say that we are right and that others are too selfish or dimwitted to understand what is RIGHT or WRONG. This saves our energy but it also keeps us from truly connecting with another human being. We would rather seek solace in our ‘objective’ definitions than move out of our comfort zone and acknowledge the subjective world of others. It’s sad because at the end of the day,love is more important than definitions.