I made a commitment of blogging everyday and sometimes, I really struggle with it. My grandfather is not well since past few weeks. I’m not really close to him but at the end of the day, it is painful to witness someone’s suffering. Plus, the ambulance, the hospital and medicines drain your energy (the atmosphere was so scary that my blood pressure dropped) I wanted to keep my promise amidst all this. It got me thinking about commitment. It is virtuous to be committed to something or someone. You get a lot of respect for your will power. We have been taught that those who commit are good people who care about others but that’s not always the case. Sometimes, in the name of commitment and numbers, we end up becoming a little too selfish.

It is a fact that you cannot write well everyday. There will be days when you are going to be below par. Is it fair to publish such low quality content then? Sure, you are sticking to your commitment and the numbers are adding up. Your post count is great. But what about the one who is reading it? He/She is taking out time to read your blog and if you are just posting for the sake of obligation, are you not insulting him/her? People can do 100 different things but they are reading your blog and that is actually a huge responsibility because there is no dearth of content in this modern age. Posting everyday might make me feel better. Even if the content sucks, I stuck to my promise but when another person or a group of people get involved, I can longer just think about myself. This happens in every relationship. Some parents are together because they are obsessed with commitment. They will show off their commitment by celebrating their anniversaries but what if their commitment hurt their children?

What matters more? Your commitment of writing X number of blog posts or the relationships that you build with fellow bloggers? I think it is about balance. Commitment makes you push yourself a little more and that’s actually good for both you and your followers.The greater the challenge, the more you will sharpen your skills. I would also say that since the followers have also entered into a commitment, even they have to push themselves a little bit. Commitment is about both the good and the bad. There will be times when both the sides will be disappointed with each other but that’s part of the deal. However, if your commitment becomes more about ego then both sides will suffer. At the same time, thinking *only* about the other person might work against the relationship! Remember the day you started your blog? You just wrote for yourself and people started following you for your authentic self! It is a play between will power and surrender. Sometimes, you really have to try hard to make things work and sometimes, you just have to let go. It reminds me of Yoga and Tantra. Yoga is about will power and doing the impossible. Tantra is about surrender and trusting the universe. The one who knows when to surrender and when to use his/her will power knows the art of relationships.

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Side effects of commitment

  1. Wish your grandfather is recovering soon. Best wishes.
    When it comes to commitment, my assessment over time is that it is much better to commit to an outcome (e.g. I want to record all my spiritual insights in a systematic way), and have sub-commitments of the process (e.g. I will record my thoughts every day). In my area of work, people often focus entirely on process-related metrics, and it’s easy to see these often become completely disconnected with the outcome.
    Once the broader commitment is outcome-centered, it is easy to adjust the process commitments as needed, because then it doesn’t feel like you are compromising your commitment. Also, it enables you to not get swayed by ‘other’ outcomes (e.g. Reader X did not enjoy my post. Oh wait, that’s a nice-to-have. That’s not the outcome I am committed to.)
    I know I know, easy to say, tough to do 🙂 I’ll let you know if I ever get it right myself 😀

    Like

    1. Hmmm, this is what I understood from your comment (correct me if I’m wrong)

      What you are saying is that some things should be fixed/rigid while some things should be flexible. It’s better to be committed to a vision and let that vision dictate your goals . For example: There is this actress who is committed to a vision of social work: she acts and directs (her films are about social issues), gives talks, works with government bodies, participates in panel discussions, supports NGOs and many other things. She is committed to social work and YET, because of the broad nature of her vision, her commitment doesn’t suffocate her. She is focused and yet, in a way, she is not. One needs to focus on ‘why’ and ‘what’ instead of ‘how’..? Because when you focus too much on ‘how’ (which is the process?) you don’t really move forward?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s a nice way of looking at it- you made it even broader than what I had mentioned. Yes, there are many ways of fulfilling a ‘why’. Your comment reminded me of this beautiful movie ‘Under the Texan Sun’. Do watch if you haven’t!
        My initial thoughts had been around how processes/ commitment to a way of doing things/ rituals are put in place to achieve a certain ‘what’. But over time, people- it’s especially visible in organizations- become so wrapped in the process, that they forget why they are doing it. It often results in the process becoming more and more rigid, and the outcomes falling further and further away. You may have heard the story of the monkeys in a cage who wanted to get the bananas at the top of the cage. However they would get an electric shock every time they climbed beyond a point. Because of this, any new monkey that entered the cage was prevented by other monkeys from climbing up- they would all begin to pull him back every time he tried. Some time in between, the electric shocks were switched off. All the monkeys over time were replaced with new monkeys one by one.
        Then they had a shock-free cage, with all new monkeys, none of whom had ever received a shock- but they still wouldn’t let anyone climb up! None of the monkeys knew why, but it’s just what they had been doing over and over.
        I digressed far and wide 🙂 But it was a fun story.

        Like

    1. Ah! Thanks for clarifying..I now understand what you are saying. You were talking about things on a very practical level. I was probably too stressed out to use my brain properly. Indeed..ultimately rules are means to an end. They are designed to make our lives better. But when they become more important than the purpose, it all becomes a joke. Even *some* religious rituals were intended for ‘inner transformation’ but people mostly use them to oppress others. I haven’t watched that film..just read the synopsis..it sounds interesting. Thanks 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s