We were always taught that the more you give, the more noble you are and it is true, but only upto a limit. So, you are a compassionate person who always gives but never takes. You do this because you want to give a lot of respect and love. It is all well meaning but it is good to check what the other person is feeling as well. Initially, we feel good when someone keeps giving and doesn’t take anything in return. But everybody has a conscience. After a point, we start feeling guilty because somebody is giving us so much but we are unable to give anything back. Most people try to be as fair as situations allow them to be (some try to be fair no matter how bad the situation is). We feel inferior because this person is clearly better than us. Isn’t it interesting that the person’s intention was to make us feel good and comfortable but by giving too much, he is actually making us feel uncomfortable?
When we are ‘indebted’ to someone, we are forced to only look at that person’s good side. This can be extremely uncomfortable for us because we cannot be honest and that makes us inauthentic.
When we only give and don’t take, we are, in a way, assuming that the other person doesn’t have a desire to give, which is arrogant. Isn’t it arrogant to think that only we have noble intentions?
If you truly love someone then don’t just give, allow the other person to do things for you as well. Otherwise, you make him feel inadequate and morally inferior. You will burden him even if that was not your intention. You will make the whole relationship unequal and a relationship is always between equals.
The difference between an immature and a mature person is that even though they both can have good intentions, the mature person will check both her intentions as well as the impact of her actions.