A Bollywood actress committed suicide and reports suggest that one of the reasons was the tension between her boyfriend and her. I don’t know who is right or who is wrong but what’s sad is the judgement about a person’s decision to end her life.
There are a bunch of people shaming the actress because she took her life for a man. They advise young girls to stop being ‘weak’ and focus on their career and stop obsessing about relationships. I read this post somewhere where the writer questioned the actress’ actions by saying that she had worked with the biggest stars in Bollywood and she should have been grateful for that. But instead of looking at the bright side, she threw her life away. These messages can be very motivating for some but they are kind of cruel. I will confess something: I actually had a similar opinion some years back but not anymore.
What I find problematic is this idea that you can know the other person completely. That you can know her limitations and strengths. How do you know what the other person is going through? Sure, you can get a good idea through that person’s actions, but at the end of the day, you cannot really know the other person.
Secondly, atleast for me, comparing my life with less fortunate ones has NEVER made me happy. Don’t get me wrong. I just read the news that Saudi women will be voting for the first time and I can never understand the kind of lives they live. But using their example to be grateful for my life doesn’t work for me. It is good to remember that you are privileged but remembering how fortunate you are cannot be your only weapon against something as serious as depression. Why are we so biased against mental illness? If you think it is cruel for somebody to suggest a person on wheelchair to get up and run a marathon then why is it not cruel to expect somebody who is not able to find any meaning in life to just ‘be strong?’
Also, just because you work with superstars doesn’t mean your life will be perfect and free of problems. Ironically, the person who wrote the criticism against the actress was giving ‘gyaan’ about being practical and not believing in ‘ideal’ relationships.
Thirdly, this whole idea about life being sacred. Certainly, life is precious. But some people just can’t find anything positive no matter how hard they try. Whether or not they should end their life is another debate but judging those who don’t find life precious is kind of insensitive. It’s like putting a gun on the head and asking them to love life.
There are a LOT of factors that affect a person’s decisions and mental condition. Every battle cannot be won by ‘positive’ thinking and gratitude.
By judging those who cannot find anything positive in life, you are actually proving them right. Who would want to live in a world where everybody around them is ready to give unsolicited advice and judge them harshly?