The relationship between a parent and a child is pretty unique. Since the birth of the child, parents do everything they can, to give the best to the child (not everybody but let’s talk about what most people try to do). They are always giving. And then, the child becomes an adult. He has a mind of his own now. Let’s think about this for a moment.

Imagine this: You are a free-spirit who questions society, religion, patriarchy and everything else. Now, you have a daughter who wants to buy a fairness cream because she can’t stand the societal pressure against dark skin in India (it’s changing but it’s still there even in cities). You thought that your daughter would rebellious like you, but she turned out to be something else! Or maybe, she will say that she wants to convert to a religion that you don’t like. Your son can say that he wants to pursue a career that you don’t like. Your daughter may fall in love with a guy (or a girl!) whom you don’t like. Basically, everything that you are avoiding, might happen. And it might happen because of the person whom you have always given.

An ideal parent is of course somebody who doesn’t expect his child to behave the way he wants but practically speaking, we all have expectations. It’s impossible for a normal person to not want something in return because we normally think in terms of exchange. Usually, when we don’t get something in return in a relationship, we end it. But what do you do if it’s your own child who is not giving you anything in return?

In a way, it is a wonderful opportunity to explore a different side of you. While I understand why some spiritual seekers leave their loved ones behind, I honestly think that it is a spiritual challenge to have so many expectations from a human being and yet, learning the art of letting go because you understand that the person is an individual first and then your child. It is difficult to live without your loved ones but it is equally difficult to let go of the expectations you have from your loved ones.


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