I am one of those people who find it extremely hard to say no. It’s just impossible for me. The first time I said no, I couldn’t get over the sense of guilt for months. My thinking was that if I say no, I will hurt or trouble others ( It is also because of people-pleasing but that’s another post). In other words, I didn’t want to create problems for others because I wanted to be a good person. Ironically, not saying no also hurts others and creates problems.
When I don’t say “no,” I have a problem with taking no from others too. If I am always saying yes then I will expect people to not have any boundaries because I don’t have any. And if they don’t say yes all the time, I will label them as selfish. I may not expect from the same person to whom I am always saying yes; I can take out my frustration on someone else. Is it fair to expect somebody to say yes to you just because you do the same?
This happens in India. Children can’t say no to their parents because it’s just unacceptable. And sometimes, a guy who has grown up saying yes to his parents all the time can’t stand a no from a girl. Or a girl who always said yes to her parents will expect her son or daughter to never say no.
If you always say yes, then you might not be so noble. Maybe you are making somebody’s life harder.