Human beings want to belong. If you happen to believe in something that doesn’t ‘fit’ into the mainstream society, you are encouraged to ignore your inner voice and blend into the crowd. This strategy has benefits. Standing alone is painful. Alienation sucks the joy out of life and affects physical and mental health. However, there is a huge cost that you have to pay.
When you ignore your inner voice , you basically disappoint yourself, but society appreciates you (assuming your inner voice is not liked by the society). It might seem harmless…after all, you are only ignoring YOURSELF, right? Who are you? Just an individual. You are insignificant in front of crowds and traditions. However, at the end of the day you, are suppressing your authentic self and you will be frustrated. When you follow your inner voice and stand alone, you do feel lonely, but when you are inauthentic, you are divide yourself and a part of you hates your other part. You hate yourself for not staying true to yourself and you feel disgusted. This frustration and disgust needs an outlet. This is where the true dangers of being inauthentic surface: Since you pretend to be someone else in front of the society, you cannot really share your true feelings with members of the society. Without a soul to share, you punish your loved ones…mostly your spouse and children. Personal relationships are different from social relationships. You can pretend in social relationships and climb the social ladder. However, in personal relationships, you need to be genuinely happy if you have to give to your loved ones and you cannot be happy unless you honor your true self. To be intimate with someone, there has to be a certain sense of vulnerability and honesty. A person who suppresses his true feelings won’t be share love and happiness with his close family members.
If you are a mother who wants to hide the fact your son is gay or a father who is ashamed of differently-abled daughter , then you might get acceptance in the mainstream society. However, you will lose something very precious: the ability to give and receive love, warmth and compassion.