Sometimes, it is important for parents to apply a carrot and stick approach. In some cases, it is important to be strict to show the child that his behavior is not acceptable or dangerous. While doing this, it is important to tell the child that his actions are wrong in a firm but compassionate manner. But manipulative parents use this strategy for completely egoistic reasons. While it is difficult to define what is “right” or “wrong”, manipulative parents have a bigoted view of “right” and “wrong”. However, they are convinced that they are right and try to use various strategies to control their children.
Mind needs stability and peace. When a parent gives love and affection and withdraws it and keeps swinging between these two extremes, it is possible that the child either becomes exactly like the parent (by doing the same thing to others…the child here becomes a manipulator) or thinks that the whole world is like her parent (in this case, she becomes a people pleaser). It is extremely difficult for a child to bear the shocks…to handle the alternative and diametrically opposing mental states requires unbelievable amount of mental toughness…which the child doesn’t have at a tender age. Sometimes the child becomes a rebel..sometimes he cares too much about what others think of him. If the child decides to give into the parents demands and do things which make him feel miserable, then he must remember that desires are endless. Your parent’s repeated withdrawal of love and affection is an endless game. Even if your parent is happy with your obedience today…she will feel the need to demand and manipulate in the future…because she won’t be satisfied. Power is seductive. Once your parent is certain that you will do anything out of fear, he might try to demand more and more. Even if he is satisfied, YOU will never believe that he loves you because he has stopped loving you so many times in the past. This will also affect your other relationships. You will be anxious about pleasing other people and you will never believe that somebody ACTUALLY loves you.Trying to satisfy a manipulative person is an exercise in futility.