Sometimes, you have to submit. But making this into a habit is not just sad but dangerous. Submissive people are often pitied but we hardly talk about the potential danger that they pose.

In nature, there is always a balance. Even though every creature is unique, there is a sense of equality. Mother Nature makes sure that one person/group of species doesn’t stay powerful for long. The moment there is an abuse of power or imbalance, Nature sustains itself through balance. I believe that the mind has a similar mechanism. Sometimes you spend too much time alone…so, the mind automatically attracts situations which compel you to socialize. Similarly, if you are too egoistic, the mind achieves a balance through situations that humble you. If you are too submissive, your mind will pull you towards people who are weaker than you. I noticed this in a family member of mine, whose philosophy is to just submit. Since it has become a habit for her, she doesn’t even try to do something else. What’s interesting though is that she becomes quite dominating when she finds a person who is less ‘threatening’. For example: she will never speak up against her husband, but she will happily dictate her daughter, who has crossed the age of 50! She also thinks that people from low income group or people from other religion or differently abled people are ‘inferior’ to her. She doesn’t think twice before looking down upon people who are not fair-skinned. When there is less threat, she will pounce upon the opportunity. Sometimes, she won’t insult these ‘inferior’ people on their face, but atleast in her mind, she feels superior to them. In fact, she feels ‘worse’ if she is unable to dominate her maid/any inferior person! The thinking is something like this: maids are supposed to be inferior and if you cannot even dominate them then you are a piece of shit! It is human nature to play this superior-inferior game but with submissive people, things can get a little more dangerous because they bottle up things for long. They are frustrated because of their feelings of powerlessness and they need an outlet. That’s probably the reason  why you see a lot of men obeying their boss’ orders and then coming home to beat their wives. That’s why there are women who are submissive when it comes to their husbands, but mean when it comes to their children. Maybe this is the reason why some “holy” men and women are “submissive” to their Gods but violent and intolerant towards other religions.

Unfortunately, submissive people hardly punish those who take advantage of their meekness. Their victims are people who have no role in their pain. It becomes a vicious circle: You submit to others, you make others submit to you and they, in turn, prey on other vulnerable people, who go on to find their own victims.
If you are a submissive person, then it is important to rise above your self-pity and notice if you are behaving like your oppressor. It is easy to feel like a martyr when you are submissive….what is difficult is to question your own motives.

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