According to Dr. Brene Brown, the best way of dealing with shame is to talk about it. The more we hide the shameful parts of ourselves, the stronger they become. The act of hiding something makes us feel worse. Shame creates a circle: we hide things that are shameful and then, we are ashamed of hiding things.We hide things because we are afraid of rejection and alienation. We are afraid that people won’t like us. But when we hide things and people like us, we view them with suspicion: we say, “he/she likes me because I’m pretending to be someone I am not. What if he/she knows the truth about me? Will he/she still like me?” So the purpose of pretending–which is acceptance and validation–is defeated because we are never really sure if people have actually accepted us. But if we start sharing the shameful things, we inspire others to do the same and we realize that we are not alone.


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